Introduction

Just by the title, I roughly grasped the song’s meaning, and it also triggered my past thoughts on life. Before, I could never find an answer to “why live?”. But, flipping it, “why not end it?”. I explored ways to commit suicide and their consequences. I realized I feared suicide. So, because of that fear, I chose to live. This perfectly aligns with the song.

Speaking of which, I’ve listened to many works by Kohana Lam before. Back then, she’d often sing tearfully, which made it hard for me to watch sometimes. I was genuinely worried if she’d be okay. Then, YouTube Music pushed new, cheerful songs from her. I was genuinely happy she’d moved past her sadness (even though I hadn’t).

After diving deep into this song (and understanding the lyrics), I realized how great it is. Wish I’d found it sooner. Also, I think this series of articles is pretty cool. It’s taught me so much from songs I only partially understood before. I feel like this isn’t just learning Japanese from songs; it’s learning about life. Discovering a different side to songs I’d heard before is truly amazing. I like them even more now. (It actually reminded me of Asuna’s question to Kirito about discovering another side of someone – yeah, you really do like them more!)

By the way, as per this series’ custom, translations aren’t always literal. Some phrases are memes, but I’ve removed ones that didn’t fit.

2025.05.26 Sang this song. Vocabulary was a bit tough, but yelling out “透明なまま終わっていきなよ、私はもうきっと大丈夫” (Don’t just fade away unseen, I’ll definitely be okay now) was so liberating. The emotional release was awesome! (Then got defeated by unknown words)

Song Video

Lyrics

なつかしい音 なつかしい匂い なつかしい景色

Familiar sounds, familiar scents, familiar sights

蘇よみがえるトラウマ 見たくない顔 聞きたくない声

Resurfacing trauma, faces I don’t want to see, voices I don’t want to hear

許せない人たち もう行けなくなっちゃった、あの駅

Unforgivable people, that station I can no longer go to

暗い「人目が怖いの」

Gloomy, “I’m scared of what people think”

そんな記憶 あいして生きる

Even with those memories, I’ll live with love

透明なまま終わっていきなよ

Don’t just fade away unseen

私はもうきっと大丈夫

I’ll definitely be okay now

嫌い泣きたいも今振り返れば

Looking back now, even those moments of hate and tears

泡と消える刹那せつな

Vanish like foam in a flash

私見て下を見た気でいなよ そのまま

Don’t underestimate me, stay that way

消えてしまいたいと願ったような夜に

Even on nights I wished I could disappear

笑ってられてるよ 永遠に消えないんだよ

I can still smile, they won’t vanish forever

狭い世界で くだらない談だんに怯おびえてる私

Me, trembling at meaningless talk in a narrow world

霞かすんで歪ゆがんだ脳 明白めいはくな病

My hazy, distorted brain, a clear illness

傷跡きずあとは消えないまま 責任の所在は？

Scars remain, where does the responsibility lie?

あの日の子供が泣くのだ 今でも

That child from that day still cries, even now

今日ものうのう生きている 永世えいせい罪人ざいにん共に問う

Today, I ask those eternal sinners who live shamelessly

替えの効かないもの 戻らないものに手を出した自じ覚かくはある？

Do you realize you’ve touched irreplaceable, irreversible things?

許せぬ過去を睨にらんでも仕方ない、って

Saying it’s useless to glare at an unforgivable past,

言葉は理解するが 時に解決を促うながさせる

I understand those words, but sometimes I’m forced to accept “solutions”

卑ひ劣れつさに 愚ぐ劣れつさに

At that baseness, that foolishness

反吐へどが出る 反吐へどが出る

It makes me sick, sick to my stomach 🤮

「忘れろ」も言葉のナイフだ

“Forget it” is also a verbal knife

私は今日も立っている 私は今日も歌っている

Today, I stand. Today, I sing.

透明なまま終わっていきなよ

Don’t just fade away unseen

私はもう大丈夫

I’m okay now

嫌い泣きたいも今振り返れば

Looking back now, even those moments of hate and tears

私を生かすのは私なのだ

It’s I who keeps myself alive

透明なまま終わっていきなよ

Don’t just fade away unseen

私はもう、もう大丈夫

I’m definitely, definitely okay now

嫌い泣きたいも今振り返れば

Looking back now, even those moments of hate and tears

決して消えぬ「愛」か

An “love” that will never fade?

私見て下を見た気でいなよ そのまま

Don’t underestimate me, stay that way

消えてしまいたいと願ったような夜に

Even on nights I wished I could disappear

笑っているんだよ 笑っているんだよ 笑っているんだよ

I’m smiling, I’m smiling, I’m smiling